i just need to say this to someone, somewhere, and so i have consequently come here to my secret blog. i would sound like the whiniest, fake, bitchy-girlfriend type if i said this on FB and i dont have Twitter (although im guessing the annoyingness would transfer). so instead im here. okay here goes:
i am desperately waiting for some form of contact from E. (yes, this is a code name for a guy).
oh my gosh...seriously, i cant believe how much im craving for something, anything from him! it's insane--ive never felt this way about someone before but it's killing me. i just keep feeling so low, you know? like just kind of sad and depressed and wishing that he would please, please, please, just like a status of mine or listen to a song of mine on Spotify or reply to my message on FB. oh my gosh...i just long for him to interact with me somehow, even if only in the smallest of ways. which makes me feel pathetic because we're just friends and he has a girlfriend and we just had some crazy, over-time of being in contact so it makes sense that now, when things are normal, i'd feel deprived. i just keep fearing that it's something on my end. like im annoying or im fat or im not enough or im just not worth engaging with. and that just makes me crave hearing from him even more because me and my petty, proud, pathetic little self-esteem wants confirmation either way.
idk...this is just weird all around and sure as hell is making it hard to focus on school work. :( ugh.
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