if someone asked me how my night was tonight, id have no idea what to tell them. on the one hand, i had a pretty nice, laxidazical day with my roomie, which was topped off with a cozy night in the dorm where we laughed and threw notes at eachother and screwed around with some innocent prank calling and writing messages back and forth on facebook. the other part of the night consisted of me purging while she was outside chatting with her sister, and then me walking for 15 min. in the evening drizzle to go across the street to a 7-Eleven to spend over $10 on a pint of Ben and Jerry's, two cream cheese danishes, and a Mrs. Field's cookie. it'd also consist of me proceeding to walk again in the mist to the Student Center where i locked myself in an abandoned bathroom stall for half an hour to devour my food as quickly as i could and then purge it up in the toilet. + and - more than 2000 calories later, i then walked once more back to the dorms with soggy sweat pant-bottoms and my hoodie yanked up over my ratty hair and bloodshot eyes.
so how do you define that evening? i had genuine fun and i had genuine hell. how do you go about describing that to someone? gosh, most often that's what my whole life feels like. ive gotten so comfortable lying to people and living as a hypocrite that its extremely easy for me to just switch between my two halves without much thought. but what a screwed up mess it leads to when you try to figure our where you stand with things...
anyways, just some thoughts i had.
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