sometimes i just really, really hate how i treat people. seriously, like ever since ive gotten to school i feel like ive just become the biggest bitch towards Mom and Dad and im not really sure why. i just hate that im doing it. i hate it. and other people too, such as my friends here. even if i dont mean to or really come across that way, i find myself saying things too harshly or sarcastically, tearing people down versus building them up. all, of course, done in jest. but still. im just seeing how evil i really am, how self-centered and obsessed with my own pleasure i am. its all about me, all the time. i dont sacrifice, i dont give mercy, i dont allow room for mistakes. i judge, join in on gossip, and think of myself as better than other people. i cant love people--really love people---with kindness. i want to but i fall short. i have hatred and sin in me. i do. its grotesque and ugly and wrong. who am i? not who have i become, but who have i been and who am i now, truly? i think the answer is obvious.
the same, twisted, whore of a bitchy, hypocritical adultress.
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