*sigh* you know, normally being single really doesnt bother me; im okay with it and with other couples and beautiful people. but recently its just really been screwing with my head to see all these gorgeous, fun, kind, loving boys and girls getting together and being perfect. i just...ugh. i feel like this crappy little piece of shit, attempting to be a cool older kid when im really just this nerdy little eigth grader who's ugly and fat and really, really unattractive and not funny or smart or cool or worth being with. like knowing me or friending me is a responsibility that others take on as part of their "being nice people" guilt versus actually wanting to be and enjoying being with me. gah id just like to be wanted, legitimately. hearing people say you're pretty or nice or that they're surprised you dont have a BF means absolute shit unless someone actually make a move/effort to ask you out/stalk you. BAH! so frustrating and humiliating and saddening.
and i know i know--i shouldnt let this define me. and normally it doesnt and im okay with being alone, but for goodness sakes, can i please at least have one measly little, roasted-goat's-tongue of an offer?! please???
signing off now.
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